Bitchin' Hair

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Back to Pilgrim's Kiss

Well he can't play guitar can't sing a lick
Got a face a wall and body like a stick
But he's got a song they're playing on the air
All because he's got bitchin' hair

He's got bitchin' hair
It's long and black
It's like a waterfall flowing down his back
He's got no talent but they don't care
All because he's got bitchin' hair

Well he never been to school he's as dumb as can be
But he's ready made for MTV
So they signed him up and sent him everywhere
All because he's got bitchin' hair

He's got bitchin' hair
It's long and black
It's like a waterfall flowing down his back
He's got no talent but they don't care
All because he's got bitchin' hair

Now I bought a ton of minoxidil
The ooey gooey liquid and the itty bitty pill
I rubbed it all on the top of my head
But it looks like this year's crop is dead

Go davey, go!

Man that was pretty good soloing boys and girls (thanks)
You're welcome - we're so polite

Well I tell ya, I'm tired of not going out on Friday nights
because I don't look as cool and as bitchin' as everybody else.
So I finally decided I'm going to take advantage of modern technology
and maybe join the Bosley group and get some plugs put in my head
or something like that.

So this is what I'm gonna do - now don't tell nobody cause I want it
to be a big old secret I don't want to look obvious like Elton John.

Well I'm going downtown where they slim your hips
Boost your boobs and fatten your lips
And I'm walking out with my nose in the air
Cause I'm gonna buy some bitchin' hair

And then I'll get a guitar write me a song
Well it won't be good so it won't take long
But it's gonna make me a millionaire
All because I got bitchin' hair

I got bitchin' hair
It's long and black
It's like a waterfall flowing down my back
As far as talent goes I don't care
I got what I want and that's bitchin' hair
I got what I want and that's bitchin' hair
I got what I want and that's bitchin' hair